party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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