dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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