She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize