Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
