STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
