dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
