I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
