Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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