I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
