in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
