Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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