i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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