I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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