I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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