don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
