you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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