dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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