Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
