What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
