Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
