He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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