im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
