New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
