my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize