If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
