oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
