Christians are straight up FREAKS
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
