I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
