Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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