i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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