It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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