At least make sure they are 18
Why
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
