That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
