you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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