OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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