the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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