been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Let's get the cat blown out
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize