You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize