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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
