I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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