she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
There's even glitter on my cock...
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