You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
