i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
