I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
