I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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