she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
