I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
