Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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