Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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