I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
