i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
