I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
