So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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