why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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