Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
