Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
